1 Κη.Ὦ Ζεῦ, χελιδὼν ἆρά ποτε φανήσεται;

Ἀπολεῖ μ' ἀλύων ἅνθρωπος ἐξ ἑωθινοῦ.

Οἷόν τε, πρὶν τὸν σπλῆνα κομιδῇ μ' ἐκβαλεῖν,

παρὰ σοῦ πυθέσθαι ποῖ μ' ἄγεις, ωὖριπίδη;

MnesilochusGreat Zeus! will the swallow never appear to end the winter of my discontent? Why the fellow has kept me on the run ever since early this morning; he wants to kill me, that's certain. Before I lose my spleen entirely, Euripides, can you at least tell me whither you are leading me?

5 Ευ.Ἀλλ' οὐκ ἀκούειν δεῖ σε πάνθ' ὅσ' αὐτίκα

ὄψει παρεστώς.

EuripidesWhat need for you to hear what you are going to see?

Οὐ δεῖ μ' ἀκούειν;

MnesilochusHow is that? Repeat it. No need for me to hear....

EuripidesWhat you are going to see.

Κη.Οὐδ' ἆρ' ὁρᾶν δεῖ μ';

MnesilochusNor consequently to see....

EuripidesWhat you have to hear.

Κη.Πῶς μοι παραινεῖς; Δεξιῶς μέντοι λέγεις.

10 Οὐ φῂς σὺ χρῆναί μ' οὔτ' ἀκούειν οὔθ' ὁρᾶν;

MnesilochusWhat is this wiseacre stuff you are telling me? I must neither see nor hear.

Ευ.Χωρὶς γὰρ αὐτοῖν ἑκατέρου 'στὶν ἡ φύσις.

EuripidesAh! but you have two things there that are essentially distinct.

Κη.Τοῦ μήτ' ἀκούειν μήθ' ὁρᾶν;

MnesilochusSeeing and hearing.

EuripidesUndoubtedly.

Κη.Πῶς χωρίς;

MnesilochusIn what way distinct?

Αἰθὴρ γὰρ ὅτε τὰ πρῶτα διεχωρίζετο

15 καὶ ζῷ' ἐν αὑτῷ ξυνετέκνου κινούμενα,

ᾧ μὲν βλέπειν χρὴ πρῶτ' ἐμηχανήσατο

ὀφθαλμὸν ἀντίμιμον ἡλίου τροχῷ,

ἀκοῇ δὲ χοάνην ὦτα διετετρήνατο.

EuripidesIn this way. Formerly, when Ether separated the elements and bore the animals that were moving in her bosom, she wished to endow them with sight, and so made the eye round like the sun's disc and bored ears in the form of a funnel.

Κη.Διὰ τὴν χοάνην οὖν μήτ' ἀκούω μήθ' ὁρῶ;

20 Νὴ τὸν Δί' ἥδομαί γε τουτὶ προσμαθών.

Οἷόν γέ πού 'στιν αἱ σοφαὶ ξυνουσίαι.

MnesilochusAnd because of this funnel I neither see nor hear. Ah! great gods! I am delighted to know it. What a fine thing it is to talk with wise men!

Ευ.Πόλλ' ἂν μάθοις τοιαῦτα παρ' ἐμοῦ.

EuripidesI will teach you many another thing of the sort.

πρὸς τοῖς ἀγαθοῖς τούτοισιν ἐξεύροιμ' ὅπως

ἔτι προσμάθοιμι χωλὸς εἶναι τὼ σκέλει;

MnesilochusThat's well to know; but first of all I should like to find out how to grow lame, so that I need not have to follow you all about.

25 Ευ.Βάδιζε δευρὶ καὶ πρόσεχε τὸν νοῦν.

EuripidesCome, hear and give heed!

MnesilochusI'm here and waiting.

Ευ.Ὁρᾷς τὸ θύριον τοῦτο;

EuripidesDo you see that little door?

οἶμαί γε.

MnesilochusYes, certainly.

EuripidesSilence!

MnesilochusSilence about what? About the door?

Ευ.Ἄκου'.

EuripidesPay attention!

MnesilochusPay attention and be silent about the door? Very well.

Ευ.Ἐνταῦθ' Ἀγάθων ὁ κλεινὸς οἰκῶν τυγχάνει

30 ὁ τραγῳδοποιός.

Euripides'Tis there that Agathon, the celebrated tragic poet, dwells.

Ἔστιν τις Ἀγάθων— Μῶν ὁ μέλας, ὁ καρτερός;

MnesilochusWho is this Agathon?

Euripides'Tis a certain Agathon....

MnesilochusSwarthy, robust of build?

Ευ.Οὔκ, ἀλλ' ἕτερός τις.

EuripidesNo, another. You have never seen him?

Μῶν ὁ δασυπώγων;

MnesilochusHe has a big beard?

Κη.Μὰ τὸν Δί' οὔπω γ' ὥστε κἀμέ γ' εἰδέναι.

EuripidesNo, no, evidently you have never seen him.

MnesilochusNever, so far as I know.

35 Ευ.Καὶ μὴν βεβίνηκας σύ γ', ἀλλ' οὐκ οἶσθ' ἴσως.

Ἀλλ' ἐκποδὼν πτήξωμεν, ὡς ἐξέρχεται

θεράπων τις αὐτοῦ πῦρ ἔχων καὶ μυρρίνας,

προθυσόμενος, ἔοικε, τῆς ποήσεως.

EuripidesAnd yet you have pedicated him. Well, it must have been without knowing who he was. Ah! let us step aside; here is one of his slaves bringing a brazier and some myrtle branches; no doubt he is going to offer a sacrifice and pray for a happy poetical inspiration for Agathon.

Θε.Εὔφημος πᾶς ἔστω λαός,

40 στόμα συγκλῄσας· ἐπιδημεῖ γὰρ

θίασος Μουσῶν ἔνδον μελάθρων

τῶν δεσποσύνων μελοποιῶν.

Ἐχέτω δὲ πνοὰς νήνεμος αἰθήρ,

κῦμα δὲ πόντου μὴ κελαδείτω

45 γλαυκόν—

Servant of AgathonSilence! oh, people! keep your mouths sedately shut! The chorus of the Muses is moulding songs at my master's hearth. Let the winds hold their breath in the silent Ether! Let the azure waves cease murmuring on the shore!...

MnesilochusBrououou! brououou! (Imitates the buzzing of a fly.)

EuripidesKeep quiet! what are you saying there?

Θε.πτηνῶν τε γένη κατακοιμάσθω,

θηρῶν τ' ἀγρίων πόδες ὑλοδρόμων

μὴ λυέσθων· —

Servant... Take your rest, ye winged races, and you, ye savage inhabitants of the woods, cease from your erratic wandering ...

MnesilochusBroum, broum, brououou.

Θε.μέλλει γὰρ ὁ καλλιεπὴς Ἀγάθων

50 πρόμος ἡμέτερος—

Servant... for Agathon, our master, the sweet-voiced poet, is going ...

Mnesilochus... to be pedicated?

Θε.Τίς ὁ φωνήσας;

ServantWhose voice is that?

Mnesilochus'Tis the silent Ether.

Θε.δρυόχους τιθέναι δράματος ἀρχάς.

Κάμπτει δὲ νέας ἁψῖδας ἐπῶν,

τὰ δὲ τορνεύει, τὰ δὲ κολλομελεῖ,

55 καὶ γνωμοτυπεῖ κἀντονομάζει

καὶ κηροχυτεῖ καὶ γογγύλλει

καὶ χοανεύει—

Servant... is going to construct the framework of a drama. He is rounding fresh poetical forms, he is polishing them in the lathe and is welding them; he is hammering out sentences and metaphors; he is working up his subject like soft wax. First he models it and then he casts it in bronze ...

Mnesilochus... and sways his buttocks amorously.

Θε.Τίς ἀγροιώτας πελάθει θριγκοῖς;

ServantWho is the rustic who approaches this sacred enclosure?

Κη.Ὃς ἕτοιμος σοῦ τοῦ τε ποητοῦ

60 τοῦ καλλιεποῦς κατὰ τοῦ θριγκοῦ

συγγογγύλας καὶ συστρέψας

τουτὶ τὸ πέος χοανεῦσαι.

MnesilochusTake care of yourself and of your sweet-voiced poet! I have a strong instrument here both well rounded and well polished, which will pierce your enclosure and penetrate your bottom.

Aristophanes, Women at the Thesmophoria — Greek text with English translation